and everyone inside the mechanism is yearning to get out.

i'm taking a break from all this blogging for now, 

there's been a "severe and unsafe" gas leak in our apartment for weeks

that we just found out about today 

so we're getting the fuck out of here

it's heinously upsetting,

compounded by the discovery that i'm clinically depressed

i found out while i was at the doctor making sure i didn't have carbon monoxide poisoning, 

how fucked up is that?

so now we've got the find a new place to live

assuming we'll still live together nothing is for sure right now but i'll know more soon.

i close my eyes and think that i have found me, but then i feel mortality surround me.

i want to sing another melody; so different from the one i always sing.

hooray hooray i'm you're silver lining.

we wanted to give you a tour of our fantabulous 

victorian-on-the-inside apartment;

view it up bitches!

part one:

Online Videos by Veoh.com

and part two:

Online Videos by Veoh.com

but now i'm gold.

days will turn into to might night will turn into days, week, season, years.

i'm beyond excited,

so i didn't want to say anything until we knew more but me and tessa went to an open house on saturday

well we went to three, 

the only one worth mentioning was this adorable victorian-on-the-inside house

the whole upper level would belong to us and its' fantastic,

i'd stay in the parlor area with the walk-in closet 

something that has occupied my dreams for years

and there would still be two other bedroom left for tessa to use

since the parlor areas is quite larger than either of the other two rooms.

so this place is fantastic and we found out today that we're going to live there!

we go to sign the lease in just a bit and i'm more excited than i even thought possible.

suck on that california state university east bay dorms!