the best part of believe in the lie

i had my job interview with banana republic yesterday and i keep going over it in my head. But it's strange, as i was sitting in traffic on my way home afterwards, i couldn't shake the feeling that maybe, by being optimistic about it, i'm jinxing it. Making it so that my expectations for an event become so high that any outcome won't be good enough. I have this fear about both my personal and professional relationships.

Maybe it isn't advisable to be an optimist after a certain number of horrible events befall you. Maybe pessimism is something we have to start applying daily... Otherwise, how do you bounce back when reality batters your belief system and love does not, as promised conquer all? Is hope a drug we need to go off of? Or is it keeping us alive?

What's the harm in believing?

and furthermore...

What if, what I think I should be doing is driving me to think this way? Is should another disease plaguing society? Do I want a degree and a "career"? Or do i think i should have a degree and a "career"?

How do we separate what we could do from what i should do? And here's a disturbing thought, it's not just peer pressure, it seems to be coming from within.

Why are we "should-ing" all over ourselves?