i am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me

working nine to five, what a way to make a living

well, not exactly.

today was supposed to be my first non-official-but-still-getting-paid-for-it day at banana republic,

but then while i was at target 

(because where else would i be?)

i got a call, or should i say, missed a call from the hiring manager.

she said that there was no one to teach the orientation class

i secretly think that they just didn't want to miss the sex and the city midnight showing

cause we were going to cut it pretty close.

and that it would be rescheduled to next thursday.

which i'm totally fine with honestly;

because if today were both my first day at banana 

and 

the day i went to the midnight showing of the sex and the city movie...

my brain might have exploded and come out my nose in strings.

also,

in reference to the blog, 

i know i've been posting a lot lately but, 

one: a lot has been going on in my life lately, and i think the blog should reflect that.

two: once i get my job i think i'll be blogging less, so i want to preemptively make up for my absence;

even though i'm fairly certain that only like two people read this thing.

regardless of the number of readers, this is more for my sanity than anything else,

so there's that.

now back to the stalling, so i don't go crazy with anticipation.

i'm far too gay for my own good.

there's no room in my bed as far as i'm concerned

hottie clerk @ the courthouse: "hi can i help you?"

me: "i really hope so, i went to get my issue resolved but they told me i'd still have a hold on my license." 

(i got a ticket the night of my accident for not showing my registration card, 

i know, shitty, right? 

like yeah sorry your car is totaled but don't feel too bad, here's a ticket.)

hottie clerk: "yeah, those usually take a few days to clear up."

me: "that's what the guy at the payment window said, 

but the problem is i'm about 600 miles away from anyone i know, so i can't go home."

hottie clerk: "i'd give you a ride"

me: i just looked at him with my mouth open a bit

hottie clerk: here i'll take care of it for you.

(combined with a borderline inappropriate  smile)

me: thanks...

and that was how my court visit ended.

i didn't hate it.

i don't hate these either... they're actually my favorites.

or court ordered therapy sessions.

i cough for no man.

playing hard to get is overrated.

motherfucker would burn shit down.

so much for the magic of jesus' love.

i smile more when i belong.

nobody puts baby in a corner.

those beady black eyes haunt my dreams.

also, gas prices are rising at an alarming rate.

i can contain it... if i have to.

subtlety is my forte.

fool me once, shame on you...

so no web slinging then?

no justice. no peace.

who took the cookies from the cookie jar? YOU DID MOTHER FUCKER!

and verbal agreements are only legally binding in the state of nevada.

three cheers for accomplishing goals.

WE CAN AFFORD NO MORE DISTRACTIONS!!

good luck with things.

fuck you bernie goldman.

too far?

ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred. totally worth it.

i don't judge your hobbies.

i told him the black one always dies first.

famous last words?

drop outs have the most fun.

the earth is our mother, we will not bury her.

a stranger is a just a friend you haven't met.

and tonight is a good TV night.

it started out as a feeling, which then turned into a hope

i know, i know

two posts in one day...

"who do i think i am?"

well i'll tell you who i think i am,

some one who just now got an official job offer from 

banana republic!

that's right bitches, i'm officially no longer unemployed

my orientation is on thursday from 5-9!

which i get paid for...

suck on that hennes & mauritz

oh and p.s.

this means i get 60% off banana republic merchandise,

50% off everything at the gap,

and 40% off stuff at old navy. (i'll probably never use this one, but whatever, i can if i want to)

oh, i almost forgot about the 45% i get off at all gap and banana republic outlet stores

i think journey said it best, 

don't stop believing,

suck it hard h&m!

that's not journey, but i still think it's totally valid.

heartache to heartache we stand

no promises, no demands

love is a battlefield

i can't sleep

and

pat benatar is genius

but come on you knew that already.

p.s.

i watched a new natalieandcaitlin video today 

and have decided that i have a huge gay-boy crush on the two of them.

it happens.

you shower me with words made of knives.

a little something form me to you.

the best part of believe in the lie

i had my job interview with banana republic yesterday and i keep going over it in my head. But it's strange, as i was sitting in traffic on my way home afterwards, i couldn't shake the feeling that maybe, by being optimistic about it, i'm jinxing it. Making it so that my expectations for an event become so high that any outcome won't be good enough. I have this fear about both my personal and professional relationships.

Maybe it isn't advisable to be an optimist after a certain number of horrible events befall you. Maybe pessimism is something we have to start applying daily... Otherwise, how do you bounce back when reality batters your belief system and love does not, as promised conquer all? Is hope a drug we need to go off of? Or is it keeping us alive?

What's the harm in believing?

and furthermore...

What if, what I think I should be doing is driving me to think this way? Is should another disease plaguing society? Do I want a degree and a "career"? Or do i think i should have a degree and a "career"?

How do we separate what we could do from what i should do? And here's a disturbing thought, it's not just peer pressure, it seems to be coming from within.

Why are we "should-ing" all over ourselves?

will someone please call a surgeon. who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart.

so i'm sitting here in my vintage apartment

wearing my favorite vintage cardigan

watching thee best newly vintage television show

as a refresher for the very non-vintage but equally fabulous movie debut.

current i'm re-experiencing the infamous downfall of carrie & aidan;

and it's moments like this,

as i sit on my tiny/adorable ikea couch

watching the heartbreak/confusion in sjp's eyes

as aidan days he needs her to marry him

so that the whole world knows that she is his;

and as she asks "who else's would i be?",

you can see that they both know who.

as i sip from my mega jug of cherry pepsi from the KFC around the corner

i think....

"unemployment ain't half bad."

p.s.

it's hot as a bitch outside.

i move 600 fucking miles away and what do i get? 

a heat wave.

average, everyday sane psycho, super goddess.

"it's not just a hat; it's a god-damned wake up call people."

don't think too hard, if you think it hurts that bad

desperate houswives had this weird lapse of judgement

for a few weeks after the writer's strike, hell even a little before

the show was going down hill and i was getting worried.

now, and i have no idea what happened, it's back and better than ever.

complete with:

evil-mastermind-child slapping.

fake pregnancies with real labor.

real pregnancies with fake labor.

and then poorly timed real labor.

mistaken identity.

dna testing.

child swapping.

and then the false child abuse accusations.

like it. love it. can't get enough of it.

p.s.

if you're bored we can totally chat it up

rogerleexoxo

aim it up bitches.

nobody knows where they might end up, nobody knows.

this is an excellent week for gay people.

we're popping up like gangbusters, all over the place this week.

first we're outing our secret la-vas from a pysch program, who are dating our best friends, who are convinced that we're jealous of their boyfriends when in actuality we're jealous of them.

then a short three days later we're making out with our secret la-vas from the military while we're in the hospital for experimental brain surgery which we subsequently die from, then we have a hot make out session and experience another emotional outing, this time involving a parent!

so what if neither scenario depicts in a mentally or physically healthy manner

we're making out hardcore left and fucking right on prime time bitches.

left and fucking right.

monogamy is severely underrated

I’ve been busy doing my sex and the city pre-movie recap of the entire series (and I’m even more in love with the show if that was at all possible). So I’m watching the seventh episode of the first season called “the Monogamists” and it’s supposing all of these extremely upsetting ideals about relationships. The first being that you must formally announce that you won’t see other people. I mean maybe it’s just me, but I think that if you’re in a relationship then you should be present and thoughtful and committed in that relationship. Maybe things get more complicated as you get older (I hope not they’re plenty fucked up as it is) but I can’t imagine not wanting to be with just one person. There are millions of people who don’t have one person to share their lives with and you want TWO or THREE?! It’s completely ridiculous if you ask me.  

And then of course that begs the question what are you looking for? 

If I’m not enough for you then what does that say about you... what does that say about me?

Don’t even get me started on gay relationships in general. 

As if just because we can’t get married there’s no committal obligation. 

So I should cheapen my relationship because we can’t get some stupid certificate and quit having sex? 

Forgive me if i don't see the logic in this scenario. 

As far as i'm concerned when you decide to be in a relationship you decide to be faithful to one person. 

 

Does the lack of a ring equate to a free pass?

God I hope not.

If you’re in it, then be in it.

you know you love it.

the one thing that show was missing...

a fag

it gets better, 

there were two,

and the were closeted!

check it off the list bitches.

xoxo.

oh happy day, when jesus washed, he washed my sins away

so i'm doing laundry and i have made a wonderous discovery!!!!

i am out of hangers

this is exciting if you take into account that when i bought hangers (four months ago)

i bought so may that i had at least 25 extras

and because i am a ginormous clothes whore, 

i still have three loads of laundry to do and i ran out of hangers mid-way through the last clean one.

success!

p.s.

having laundry in your building is the only sane way to go.

half the time i don't even want to walk down the hall.

god help me if i had to leave the building.