the future looks bright

maybe i'll blog everyday for the rest of march,.

not always with something amazing or profound,

but always something,

that way this time in my life isn't lost,

and i'll have some kind of record of what my life was like,

at the beginning of my time with forever 21;

because this has the potential to change my life,

it's why i haven't been posting,

or making videos, 

i need to put the whole of my concentration into this right now.

unfortunately that means i don't have a few hours to make a video that i'm proud of, and if i can't do that, then i refuse to do it halfway.

tomorrow i think i'll share with you "the saddest song in the world".

pee to the ess

i JUST got home from work.

i told you, this is kind of my life right now.

sorry, in advance

what if you never, ever called.

it's been a good few days,

i got a job,

a new phone,

a hard drive,

and a car stereo,

all for my birthday.

i'm officially 19 bee tee double you,

at least on the outside,

on the inside i'm still a slightly immature 28 year old.

just because i'm amazed by it,

i'll show you this...

my cell phone made that shit.

if you're amazed,

then i feel the same way you do.

if you're not,

then there's something wrong with you,

p.s.

i peed in a cup today.

that is all.

your heart has a lack of colour,

and i should have known.

youtube REFUSES to let me post a video longer than 4 seconds,

bee tee double you; that took like 17 upload attempts to figure out.

i hope you appreciate this,

also i'm sorry youtube is being a thunder cunt.

of epic proportions i might add.

p.s.

i'm GETTING one of these!

click to enlarge

i long for something more.

so i'm sitting here;

watching ingrid michaelson videos on youtube,

and eating some very gay* sugar cookies.

and i'm thinking about my day...

have you ever wondered what would happen

if you painted something 

and then it decided it wasn't too keen on staying painted?

well...

that my friends is what it looks like,

 when two layers of primer

and two layers of paint,

hate crime you.

so now that i've wasted three days painting things;

leaving me unable to record a video.

i still have to come up with something else to do for a fresh look

furniture wise

for mah bedroom.

this should be fun/tedious...

now don't get me wrong;

i'm not totally broken up about it.

i love to paint, and have nothing to do until the 19th

my orientation for work.

so it was nice to have a distraction

from the sheer and utter boredom.

oh and we got a full refund on the klan paint.

so all is definitely not lost.

p.s.

i will most likely be putting up a video tomorrow...

i won't promise anything,

because that's entirely dependent on my neighbor.

the reason for this being that,

by some miracle,

her son has the same exact bed i do,

but in the "medium brown" variety,

(mine is the "birch veneer")

and they might be getting rid of it,

so i might buy that one from her.

(since we're friends with her, it'll cost about as much as more paint would)

if i don't post on the tube,

then i'll embed the ridiculous facebook video,

 (i made for natalie and caitlin) 

on here.

then i'll do a legit video once everything is sorted out. : ]

*i hate when i use words the way they're defined,

(like queer and gay)

and people jump all over me, 

because they're either too stupid or lazy 

to consider that i might not be using colloquialisms.

venting complete.

i'm the only one in love.

aparently not all my subscribers feel the same way about me as i do about them...

i lost two followers on twitter,

AND a subscriber!

(more complete details in my next video.)

it's not even the followers, 

because whatever,

but honestly the subscriber bothers me, 

don't ask me why,

but even though i started making videos for myself,

once i people started to care i started making videos for both of us.

which is why i went on such a major guilt trip when i took youtube hiatus

(eight days.... it may not seem like a long time future me)

(but at this point in time it's the longest you've gone with out new material.)

and that's why i posted three videos in three days,

one of them being a subscriber thank you,

i made these ridiculously elaborate plans for when i hit 50,

(i am not now, nor was i ever expecting this to be soon)

(but when i say ridiculously elaborate, i mean it)

and i had finished it for 22 so far...

so then i'm talking to natalie and caitlin,

(note: when there are spaces i've talked to them separately)

and i go to check mah youtube for the first time today,

(i've been painting a LOT so i haven't been so obsessive)

now, when i went to bed this morning i had 32.

i check tonight and all of  a sudden i've got 31?!?

i'm upset,

probably more than i should be but whatever.

and i DON'T play favorites with my subscribers, 

but this one in particular

i compared my subscription emails with my subscriber list

is one whose videos i watch, and love.

and i'd be lying if i said that i don't love the idea that people i love on youtube, might totally love me back.

what i don't understand, 

is that this particular person went to 888,

and i from twitter i know the would have just been getting home,

when the unsubscription(?) would have happened.

 now i seem creepy

why now?

why even subscribe in the first place?

it's not like the videos are getting WORSE

they really could only get better.

so that totally ruined my day.

i'll get over it i'm sure.

it is what it is i guess...

from my heart flow

so i redid my blog header thing. you know, the thing right above the post you're reading right now. 

i like how it turned out A LOT,

but i'm sure i'll just keep changing it as i see fit.

the person who can tell me who/what is each in square, gets the title of my new favorite person.

it's been 8 days since i made a video!

i know i'm a terrible vlogger,

but i just hate to record in this tiny lifeless room,

and i don't want to record in the living room when the house isn't empty.

i know there are like 70+ people that end up seeing the videos,

but it's just different to have to some be able to hear/see you "in the act"

while i busy updating my blogger thing, 

i went ahead a did a little redesign for my desktop background...

click it and you can see the full size version.

it all started when i couldn't find a wallpaper i liked online,

so i thought i'd make my own, 

i made a few (non-fantastic) cute boy/band backgrounds,

but i always got tired of looking at the same thing.

so i set the thing to change every 15 minutes or something,

but i  realized i'd rather see everything at once.

thus the blogger pic and my desktop were born.

so 198 random pictures on my computer turned into 125x125 icons & about five hours later.

my personalized background was born.

hope you don't hate it!

but honestly if you do it's okay because i LOVE it.

p.s.

I WILL MAKE AT LEAST ONE VIDEO TOMORROW,

so look forward to that, 

i try just promising myself, 

but that almost never works,

and when i tell you guys about it, 

i feel obligated.

in a good way.

you say my name like there should be an "us".

so i officially talked to natalie and caitlin a couple nights ago on ichat,

it was nothing short of FANTASTIC.

i might have to move my chicago relocation up a few years,

because it's getting to the point where, if i don't get to hang out with them in person i might die.

and i'd like to have that not happen.

in other news i had my interview for urban outfitters today,

i think it went tremendously well.

it was great because not only did they seem impressed that i've worked at h&m and banana republic,

but since i was already halfway down there, i got to go see david for a few hours,

and since it's been months now, that was uber superb.

i will be putting up another video tomorrow... 

i know, i know i keep saying that, but mitchell is being a complete cunt,

and refuses to cooperate in the video making process,

so i'm going over his head and i'll have lucy do it instead...

that being said i apologize in advance if the video records in sepia.

p.s.

i'm almost done with are you there vodka? it's me chelsea

 

p.p.s.

i realize that book titles should be underlined but blogspot is not giving me that option.

rainy days, please stay.

so i've been kinda absent from youtube for about a week now,

so if you're a subscriber and you're reading this i'm sorry.

and then to regular just-the-blog readers, 

i'm sorry for pre-dating updates i've forgotten to post,

i'm sure it's confusing.

now that we're past that i posted a new video today,

so that's for the subscribers

and i've resigned myself to post on time so no more confusing blog updates,

that's for the just-the-blog people.

it rained today, 

in the desert,

in july,

wha?

it was fantastic.

p.s.

i've decided instead of taking down the other video 

(which andrew was excited to be a part of)

i'm going to leave it up for my viewers who lack commitment. 

(ala mememolly)

and then i'll post a second one, 

talking about all the things i haven't been talking about thus far.

there have been tons of victorville happenings to be discussed.

i don't want to spoil it for you,

but two of the things included are the yentl soundtrack, on vinyl;

and a book about jail-time with booze in the title.

excited much?

the one hundred seven things i hate about you.

it is hot as balls in victorville right now.

107 according to my car's thermometer.

it's so hot i could die.

no joke.

i honestly don't think it would be that bad, 

but three days ago, i hadn't had  a day hotter than 76 in ten months

TEN MONTHS.

i was not prepared for this aspect of the move.

if this is what hell is like i might want to rethink the whole penis fondling thing.

p.s.

who else finds it colossally satisfying that miley cyrus is eating so much shit to try and get back on disney's good side.

first with the concert for the troops,

then with the autographs for kids with cancer.

remind me never to pose semi nude on the cover of vanity fair.

i've made up my mind, no need to think it over

so i haven't posted here in a while and i'm super upset about it.

between trying to make regular videos and the big move

(which was ridiculously more stressful than i originally thought)

well the move is technically over.

that is to say, i'm in victorville

some of my boxes are in the garage and some in the shed.

as far as my room, i'm in the room i had in high school.

which is painted white.

and my collage isn't up,

so it's incredibly bland.

in two weeks when the rents are on vacation 

i'll be painting the front room 

(it's bigger and has hardwood floors)

then i'll reassemble the fashion mag collage

then my youtube viewers will have something interesting to look at 

while i'm rambling away in my videos.

so there's that.

p.s. 

if my victorville friends are reading this,

then stop being bitches,

in case you didn't know,

(which those of you i've talked to claim you didn't)

i'm back in town and we need to hang out.

i love my parents and all, but hot damn.

i can only take so many stories about the crazy people on the price is right.

i just gotta let it go.

so i'm newly addicted to priscilla ahn.

she's amazing like you have no idea.

also, for some reason she's renewed my obsession with adele adkins,

which doesn't really make any kind of sense, but i'll talk it.

i'm reading looking for alaska, well that and the elle for july with mary-kate.

i just made a video response to christianity in a nutshell by tyler oakley

i'm pretty happy with it,

we'll see how other people feel about it.

workin' 8:30 to 6:15, what a way to make a living.

i am officially in love with steven, from stevieproductions.

not in a would-want-to-date-or-have-sex-with-him kind of way.

but in a we-should-totally-be-internet-best-friends style.

that being said, if he ever reads this, i'll be forced to vehemently deny that i was the creator of this post.

"put cho sneakers on." no thank you.

really vanessa hudgens?


really?


i have another full shift in the republic tomorrow.
and two new videos up on youtube.
view it up bitches.

i say that with love, of course.

right under my feet is air made of bricks

so, i'm uber excited about my first un-official-but-still-getting-paid-for-it day.

but

 it feels like it's a fucking month away.

i thought i'd do fine with the waiting; when Fevi called me i was actually kind of relieved, but now i can't stand it.

i've been sleeping far too infrequently, so when i do manage to fall into a slumber it's for an inordinate amount of time;

 which is upsetting. 

hurry thursday, hurry fast.

i am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me

i keep them in a box under my bed.

i'll have you know,

i'm going to do a "100 things found in my apartment" video,

as i've been packing and unpacking things,

i'm amazed by the things i'm finding.

ridiculous, hilarious, inappropriate things...

(update)

too bad you'll have to wait a year to find out just how inappropriate.