i long for something more.

so i'm sitting here;

watching ingrid michaelson videos on youtube,

and eating some very gay* sugar cookies.

and i'm thinking about my day...

have you ever wondered what would happen

if you painted something 

and then it decided it wasn't too keen on staying painted?

well...

that my friends is what it looks like,

 when two layers of primer

and two layers of paint,

hate crime you.

so now that i've wasted three days painting things;

leaving me unable to record a video.

i still have to come up with something else to do for a fresh look

furniture wise

for mah bedroom.

this should be fun/tedious...

now don't get me wrong;

i'm not totally broken up about it.

i love to paint, and have nothing to do until the 19th

my orientation for work.

so it was nice to have a distraction

from the sheer and utter boredom.

oh and we got a full refund on the klan paint.

so all is definitely not lost.

p.s.

i will most likely be putting up a video tomorrow...

i won't promise anything,

because that's entirely dependent on my neighbor.

the reason for this being that,

by some miracle,

her son has the same exact bed i do,

but in the "medium brown" variety,

(mine is the "birch veneer")

and they might be getting rid of it,

so i might buy that one from her.

(since we're friends with her, it'll cost about as much as more paint would)

if i don't post on the tube,

then i'll embed the ridiculous facebook video,

 (i made for natalie and caitlin) 

on here.

then i'll do a legit video once everything is sorted out. : ]

*i hate when i use words the way they're defined,

(like queer and gay)

and people jump all over me, 

because they're either too stupid or lazy 

to consider that i might not be using colloquialisms.

venting complete.

i'm the only one in love.

aparently not all my subscribers feel the same way about me as i do about them...

i lost two followers on twitter,

AND a subscriber!

(more complete details in my next video.)

it's not even the followers, 

because whatever,

but honestly the subscriber bothers me, 

don't ask me why,

but even though i started making videos for myself,

once i people started to care i started making videos for both of us.

which is why i went on such a major guilt trip when i took youtube hiatus

(eight days.... it may not seem like a long time future me)

(but at this point in time it's the longest you've gone with out new material.)

and that's why i posted three videos in three days,

one of them being a subscriber thank you,

i made these ridiculously elaborate plans for when i hit 50,

(i am not now, nor was i ever expecting this to be soon)

(but when i say ridiculously elaborate, i mean it)

and i had finished it for 22 so far...

so then i'm talking to natalie and caitlin,

(note: when there are spaces i've talked to them separately)

and i go to check mah youtube for the first time today,

(i've been painting a LOT so i haven't been so obsessive)

now, when i went to bed this morning i had 32.

i check tonight and all of  a sudden i've got 31?!?

i'm upset,

probably more than i should be but whatever.

and i DON'T play favorites with my subscribers, 

but this one in particular

i compared my subscription emails with my subscriber list

is one whose videos i watch, and love.

and i'd be lying if i said that i don't love the idea that people i love on youtube, might totally love me back.

what i don't understand, 

is that this particular person went to 888,

and i from twitter i know the would have just been getting home,

when the unsubscription(?) would have happened.

 now i seem creepy

why now?

why even subscribe in the first place?

it's not like the videos are getting WORSE

they really could only get better.

so that totally ruined my day.

i'll get over it i'm sure.

it is what it is i guess...

i keep them in a box under my bed.

i'll have you know,

i'm going to do a "100 things found in my apartment" video,

as i've been packing and unpacking things,

i'm amazed by the things i'm finding.

ridiculous, hilarious, inappropriate things...

(update)

too bad you'll have to wait a year to find out just how inappropriate.