can't get my mind off of you.

1) i have my first "appointment to make-out" with someone, 

which is strange-exciting-weird-crazy-terrible-electrifying.

2) i love topman.

3) you knew that already, but i refuse to stop telling you about it or

4) showing what i buy each time.

5) did i mention i'm going back to SAN FRANCISCO 

(only for four days, BUT STILL)

6) i'm throwing in something i bought at forever21,

question: can purchases be practical and COMPLETELY ridiculous at the same time?

answer: in this instance, fuck yes they can.

p.s.

the reason i love those leggings is two fold.

a. just look at them

and b. wearing them (around my house) is like being naked, with less penis.

p.p.s.

don't worry jenny, 

that jacket is 100% polyurethane

p.p.p.s.

don't worry everyone else,

that's not as weird-awful as it sounds.

sunshine on the window makes me happy like i should be.

b: like and love are two very different ideas,

   i mean i like my skechers,

   but i love my prada backpack.

c: but i love my skechers?

b: that's because you don't have a prada backpack.

c: ohhh...

i'm a creep, and i'm a weirdo.

i've always thought that new year's resolutions where mostly bullshit,

i figure, if you want something to change, 

then you shouldn't need some number on a calendar 

to get you to participate in your life.

so last year i made several life resolutions

any time over the past year i've thought of things i want to change,

i'll make a mental note to insure i take steps towards a resolution;

at the end of last month i made a few wardrobe resolutions.

1. BOLD color choices 

  a) color blocking

  b) make sure to cover "the primaries"

2. STRUCTURE

  a) fitted blazers

  b) trench coats

  c) A CAPE 

and 3. ACCESSORIES

  a) scarves

  b) rosaries (i have a strange if not unfounded obsession with catseye rosaries)

  c) bags

since making said resolutions;

i've purchased: 

a burgundy cardigan, 

six scarves (green, red, orange, purple, white, and yellow),

heather grey and mahogany blazers,

a white flat collar shawl cardigan,

a casual herringbone jacket,

and a black and white patterned vest.

oh and these...

they are seven pair for 5.50 and i LOVE them

what a way to make living

i have been working a shit ton lately,

at least that's what it feels like.

i wake up two hours before my shift, 

whatever time that may be,

i work anywhere from 5 - 10 hours,

go home, 

make my usual stops on the interwebs, 

then go to sleep,

and 8 hours later is starts all over again.

it's like forever 21 owns my soul...

i wouldn't know i didn't read that contract they made me sign at orientation.

i wake up and you're gone,

i wake up and you're gone, 

the tv's still on,

so i sit, 

and i watch another rerun,

she is left all alone,

her lovers out to sea, 

and i can't help but feel,

that she is just like me.

and i gave all i could,

but it wasn't good enough,

and you said that you would be here before i woke up,

now you're gone.

i don't know why,

my heart still beats,

when i can't feel

anything.

cause i gave all i could,

but it wasn't enough,

and you said that you would be here before i woke up,

now you're gone, away

now you're gone, away.

why don't you take me with you?

come and take me with you.

come and take me with you.

come and take me with you.

cause i gave all i could 

but it wasn't good enough,

and you said that you would be here before i woke up,

now you're gone.

oh ohwoah oh

oh ohwoah oh

oh ohwoah ohhh, ah ah oh 

oh ohwoah oh

oh ohwoah oh

oh ohwoah ohhh, ah ah oh

oh ohwoah oh

oh ohwoah oh 

oh ohwoah ohhh, ah ah oh 

oh ohwoah oh

oh ohwoah oh

oh ohwoah ohhh, ah ah oh 

oh ohwoah oh

oh ohwoah oh

oh ohwoah ohhh

what makes my life so fucking fantastic

shut

the fuck

UP!

the future looks bright

maybe i'll blog everyday for the rest of march,.

not always with something amazing or profound,

but always something,

that way this time in my life isn't lost,

and i'll have some kind of record of what my life was like,

at the beginning of my time with forever 21;

because this has the potential to change my life,

it's why i haven't been posting,

or making videos, 

i need to put the whole of my concentration into this right now.

unfortunately that means i don't have a few hours to make a video that i'm proud of, and if i can't do that, then i refuse to do it halfway.

tomorrow i think i'll share with you "the saddest song in the world".

pee to the ess

i JUST got home from work.

i told you, this is kind of my life right now.

sorry, in advance

i gave all i could, but it wasn't good enough

i'm writing this now 

i'm writing this now 

only because, honestly 

i have no idea what to write as a follow up to the last post.

i find myself lying awake, just before i go to sleep,

listening to "the saddest song in the world",

and all i can do is think about what i wrote,

how i feel and all i can seem to think about.

i don't know what it is, 

but lately i just can't live in the "now"

it's borderline crippling.

don't get me wrong;

i love my new job,

i love my friends,

i love people i work with kind of, mostly,

and i know that things could be a lot worse,

but i DESPISE "it could be worse"

by that logic, anything can sound good,

you have all these people telling you just think,

if that truck had merged a half a second earlier you could be dead,

well, if it had merged a half a second later i could be living in my studio apartment,

working at my dream job in san francisco.

so please no "it could be worse"

it is how it is.

i guess i just need some time to adjust;

this january made it a full year,

and it's taking a whole lot longer than i bargained for.

on the bright side,

now i can finally blog about something,

without worrying about a weird segway.