will he hold your tiny face in his hands?

sipping on hot green tea and eating some tuna with those elf-in-the-tree crackers

with some sour cream and onion once-you-pop-you-don't-stop chips on the side...

this is the meal of champions,

eaten in my studio apartment that i totally pay for on my own;

i'm so grown up i could just puke.

but that would be a waste of some fantastic green tea and tuna.

can't you just see me sitting in my apartment watching very mature movies and... recycling?

i know that you're thinking and it's just as fantastic as it sounds.

eat your heart out bitches.

ha.