you belong with me.

those homos need to CUT. THE. SHIT.

this is the billionth time this year that i've had a fashion/accessory/bag epiphany,

i get this vision in my head of the PERFECT item and commence searching;

then while i'm scouring all my favorite sites i find it!

whatever i'm looking for, 

EXACTLY as i imagined it.

but it's ALWAYS d&g,

and is therefore about 1.5 million dollars.

damn those queers and their exquisite design aesthetic!

i need to get my happy ass on a game show or something.

maybe deal or no deal so i can lick my knuckles right before that germ-a-phoebe mandell fist bumps me.

i do NOT fist bump,

unless i get something out of it.

do you have any bones that need collecting?

so i'm nearsighted sometimes;

or so i'm told.

let's be honest;

i have no legitimate need for these jeans.

i figure i'm going to need more than one pair of spectacular spectacles,

probably.

juno?

no it's morgan freeman.

i'd burn the city down to show you the light.

MARK MY WORDS;

EVEN IF IT KILLS ME;

IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO,

I WILL OWN THESE BOOTS!!!

who would you rather be?

-one-

starting monday morning

(six in the morning to be exact)

i am a visual merchandiser for forever21!!!

just typing that out is blowing my mind.

-two-

i bought this coat 

but it needs new buttons, 

because i love it;

but i'm not in love with it... yet.

i'll be going through my button collection for the next few days and we'll see what happens from there.

-three-

because this is a "good news, bad news" situation,

and you got the good stuff first.

it seems as though, 

just as everything has started to go right;

my mother has decided to purposely punish me for doing well outside of college.

more on that later...

i want loads of clothes,

i may have a small major problem.

seriously.

can't get my mind off of you.

1) i have my first "appointment to make-out" with someone, 

which is strange-exciting-weird-crazy-terrible-electrifying.

2) i love topman.

3) you knew that already, but i refuse to stop telling you about it or

4) showing what i buy each time.

5) did i mention i'm going back to SAN FRANCISCO 

(only for four days, BUT STILL)

6) i'm throwing in something i bought at forever21,

question: can purchases be practical and COMPLETELY ridiculous at the same time?

answer: in this instance, fuck yes they can.

p.s.

the reason i love those leggings is two fold.

a. just look at them

and b. wearing them (around my house) is like being naked, with less penis.

p.p.s.

don't worry jenny, 

that jacket is 100% polyurethane

p.p.p.s.

don't worry everyone else,

that's not as weird-awful as it sounds.

i'm a creep, and i'm a weirdo.

i've always thought that new year's resolutions where mostly bullshit,

i figure, if you want something to change, 

then you shouldn't need some number on a calendar 

to get you to participate in your life.

so last year i made several life resolutions

any time over the past year i've thought of things i want to change,

i'll make a mental note to insure i take steps towards a resolution;

at the end of last month i made a few wardrobe resolutions.

1. BOLD color choices 

  a) color blocking

  b) make sure to cover "the primaries"

2. STRUCTURE

  a) fitted blazers

  b) trench coats

  c) A CAPE 

and 3. ACCESSORIES

  a) scarves

  b) rosaries (i have a strange if not unfounded obsession with catseye rosaries)

  c) bags

since making said resolutions;

i've purchased: 

a burgundy cardigan, 

six scarves (green, red, orange, purple, white, and yellow),

heather grey and mahogany blazers,

a white flat collar shawl cardigan,

a casual herringbone jacket,

and a black and white patterned vest.

oh and these...

they are seven pair for 5.50 and i LOVE them

what makes my life so fucking fantastic

shut

the fuck

UP!

i am a weapon of massive consumption...

but it's not my fault it's how i'm programmed to function.

okay so, 

i'm only halfway through 

and i'm sure i've eaten at LEAST 

three times as many sprinkles and white chocolate chips 

as i have vanilla fro-yo.

i have a serious problem. 

p.s.

i got my final paycheck from banana republic in the mail yesterday and i'm going to BUUUUUY SHIIIIIT!!!

(i started with pre-ordering the new lily allen album)

that is all.

it felt just like home

mitchell is back,

his files have been transfered back to him

for the most part

and now i have some MAJOR video editing and filming to do.

p.s.

it needs to be monday...

like yesterday,

SERIOUSLY.

also, my clothes come next week,

expect a look book of sorts.

oops... i did it again

yeah...

love me hate me say what you want about me, 

but all of the boys and all of the girls,

are begging to if you seek amy.

that had nothing to do with the rest of the post,

but every time i think of britney,

that's what happens in my head.

SIX DAYS TO FOREVER21!!!

for the first time in a very long time,

i know, i'll be okay...

1) i'm newly re-obssesed with my soft toned girl singers,

it's kiersten and emily and laura and meiko all over the place!

2) today was basically the best day i've had since i moved back down here.

i got a job at forever21

(they're opening a new one in the mall so it's permanent!)

then when i was getting a duplicate social security card

(you have to have it for orientation)

it started to rain,

and if you know me and this town,

then you know how rare and fantastic that is.

my new card will be here in two weeks,

and my orientation is on the 2nd.

p.s.

that reminds me, 

since i'll be halfway down on the 2nd anyway,

i'm going to visit a boy from my past...

i don't want to jinx anything, 

but i will say it's not who any of you think it is.

more on that later.

i'm in a love affair, without a love song.

i have an appointment for mitchell tomorrow,

i can't believe i've been without his lap warming embrace for over a week.

(or a sentiment that isn't totally creepy)

coat watch 01'09 starts monday,

you don't know how much i'm looking forward to this

(well you kind of do now)

a lot of people don't understand my relationship with clothing,

but of all the things you have no power over,

your clothing is something that is unwaveringly your own.

if you don't want to wear something,

you don't have to,

you can dress to match your mood,

the occasion, 

the season,

or (most often) the weather.

when things start to spin out of control,

i think it's important hold on to anything that's just yours.

even if it's small.

even if it only makes sense to you.

even if it's all you have.

it's yours.

p.s.

doubt is an amazing movie. end of story.

i sold my soul to jesus and since then i've had no fun.

the new year has gotten off to a rather positive start for the most part;

not to mention oozing laura marling.

on the 15th i go to chicago 

(and i've made appropriate wardrobe purchases for the occasion)

on the 16th i will officially no longer work at best buy

(maybe my soul will finally get time to recuperate 

from the slow steady crushing it's had to endure in the past months.)

who knows what comes next.

but i am hoping for something big in 2009;

even jesus would say i'm due for something good.

good riddance 2008.

p.s.

this is my first post of 2009

and my 100th post thus far.

why not celebrate it by looking back at the past year and change?

it's what i did.

oh and p.p.s

these are the things i bought for the trip;

(in case you were wondering)

they very well may be the best purchases i've made to date.

no your eyes are not playing tricks on you,

it is a purple cropped trench coat.

(and i have the only one in all of america)

give me something i want to be: retro glamour.

i've had an epiphany,

a fashion epiphany.

i find all i can think about is this monogram coat

after working at h&m and banana republic,

i've noticed my tastes have changed,

my obsessions have gone from cute hoodies and boot cut jeans...

to waist, pea, and trench coats.

(both double breasted and macintosh)

i'm not upset about it per say,

it's actually really exciting.

the only problem...

the coat pictured above costs FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS.

so there's that.

f.y.i.

i care about natalie and caitlin more than you know.

if we can just get through this one.

i have a new obsession,

(besides my re-obsessions with haines and heap)

by the start of the new year i want to get onto lookbook,

it's exactly what it sounds like.

you take pictures of yourself in various "looks"

since i'm completely consumed by fashion, 

and continue to dress myself daily,

i figure why not?

this whole internet-working thing i started was preserve who i am now,

for the me that will come later.

and there's nothing i love more right now that fashion

(ok it may be tied with music)

this is the best way to showcase my style,

also the hugely self obsessed part of me,

along with the most of the ocd outfit making parts,

will love coming up with looks to post on the site.

there's this application process i'll have to go through,

since i don't know any of the current members,

(i'm working on it though)

so the next post (or the one after) will be various looks

that the site admissions people(?) 

can take a look at to see "what i'll bring to the site."

i'll just be happy to have something to focus on.

p.s.

as soon as i get accepted (positive thinking?)

i'm going to invite jenny and natalie to the site,

because they NEED more cute americans.

p.p.s.

it rained ALL DAY today,

things are looking up.

there's a soulmate for everyone

while going through some things i found my favorite socks.

to answer your completely justified question,

i bought two pair of argyle socks,

5 years ago at a hot topic,

 about 50 miles south of my current location,

the right yellow one now has a hole in it, 

but i liked them tremendous amounts,

so i wear the left yellow one,

and then the green right one as a stand in.

i know what you're thinking,

and yes, 

i do have an affliction to random things,

ridiculous objects and articles of clothing that no one would ever need.

exhibits a-j:

in no particular order

two of these items are from the women's section,

but i don't give a fuck, 

cause they're adorable.

but you'd know all this if you kept up with my wishlist,

located on my profile page...

p.s.

i tried changing a bunch of things on the blog,

(font, colors, layouts)

but i hated all the new stuff,

it's back to the way it was,

if you visited the blog between 2-6 yesterday

then you saw the difference,

and i'm sure you understand the decision.

hurry up and wait.

me: so i'm doing a survey for my latest blog entry because i'm too tired to be eloquent, but i really want to post something.

you: um, that's lame, it doesn't tell us anything new about your life.

me: actually scep-ta-kismo is does.

and besides this survey is adoreable.

you: .......

me: it's the most, to say the least.

you: the very least.*

-When was the last time you cried?

three months ago, before that, seven and a half years.

-What was the last lie you said?

we have to get the more expensive one, because the other one isn't mac compatible

-Have you ever cried during a movie?

i cried once during grey's anatomy, but we were 90% sure my mom was going to die the next day. so that's probably just coincidence.

- Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off of?

there's this icon i made and it's MESMERIZING.

-Have you ever danced in the rain?

i recorded myself doing it, then posted the video on youtube.

-Have you ever been drunk?

never have, never will.

-Have you ever tried tried drugs?

same

-Do you smoke?

i quit.

-What is your full name?

i was born roger brown III and my name was legally changed when i was adopted to roger lee house.

-What is your blood-type?

i have no idea, i've given blood four times (three of which ended badly) and they refuse to tell me.

- Have you ever been in a car accident?

two of them, neither my fault, one of them a hit and run that totaled my baby.

- How old were you when you recieved your first kiss?

5 maybe 4?

- Who was your first kiss?

dj, and you don't exchange last names in kindergarten

- Have you ever had an online relationship?

i've had several. none of them romantic, i'm not up for becoming a rape or homicide victim. thanks though.

- Have you ever had phone-sex?

both speech and text.

- What is your favourite sport to play?

driving... if nascar is a sport so is my driving. and i don't do it in circles.

- Is there anything that you have done that you regret?

regrets are for straight people.

- What do you want to be when you grow up?

either the editor of a major fashion magazine, or an elementary school teacher.

- Do you believe in god?

religion is the human reaction to being alive, and having to die.

- Do you believe in love at first sight?

that wouldn't be very fair to blind people.

- Do you believe in karma?

fundamentally yes.

- Who was your first crush?

dj probably.

- Who do yo uhave a crush on?

well he'll read this... so fuck that.

- How would you describe yourself?

pretty well, i've got an extensive vocabulary.

- What are you afraid of?

the dark a little, and relationships in general.

- Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend?

i've only ever dated friends, and i've never really felt the need to label things.

- What is the best compliment you have ever recieved?

you are one of the most genuine people i've ever met.

- What is the meanest thing anyone has said about you?

i've been "fat" i'm whole life and in the first 3 months of high school i grew about 2 inches and lost about 20 pounds, and this girl looked at a picture of my from 6th grade and said i should keep working on it because i "still look[ed] huge."

- What is the longest crush/relationship you have had?

3 years i think, if not, then just under 3.

- What is your greatest strength?

my devotion to my friends, honestly i put everything i have into my relationships with the people i care about.

- What is your greatest weakness?

i lie about my feelings far too often.

- What is your first thought when waking up in the morning?

"what town am i in?" second thought: "fuck i have to pee."

- What is your first thought before you go to bed?

the lyrics to whatever song i fall asleep to.

- What college do you want to go to?

san francisco state, colombia college, university of washington, and nyu.

- Do you get along with your family?

not really, but lately that's for the better.

- Do you play any instruments?

i've played piano, alto sax, clarinet, tuba, and guitar. and except for tuba i was borderline terrible at all of them.

- Would you ever get a tattoo?

i WILL get the word "breathe" tattooed on my inner wrist in white-gold ink. because i honestly believe that sometimes that's all you can do not to give up. i REFUSE to give up.

- Who makes you laugh?

lately it's a three way tie between natalie, caitlin and margaret cho.

- Who would you want to be tied to for 24hours?

steven reca

- Have you ever seen a dead body?

both in and out of a casket.

- What is one thing scientists should invent?

something that can make you telepathic.

- What happens after you die?

you start to rot.

- What stereotype would you label yourself as being?

the white-black kid. but i was raised by white people, so do what you want with that.

- Would your friends agree with that stereotypic label?

they better.

- If yo ucould change your name, what would you change it to?

i'm going to change it to roger lee when both of my parents are gone.

- If you could go back in time to one point in your life, where would you go

i'd go forward.

- If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change?

i'd keep loosing weight, which all part of the plan. THIRTY POUNDS since high school.

- Have you ever played strip poker?

i was the dealer, it's much more fun.

- Would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves?

i would, and i have. but only when nothing can be done about the matter at the moment. and i never volunteered.

- What do you want your friends to think about you?

they love me, and i love the, if not then we're not really friends.

- Whats the biggest argument you've ever gotten into?

someone i trusted lied to our mutual friends to distance me from them so she could get closer to them. she was a righteous thunder cunt, and everything worked out for the best.

- Do you make wishes on shooting stars?

i made a wish on 9 of them during a meteor shower last month.

- Whats the most you've ever eaten in one sitting?

a family size popcorn chicken from kfc. i'm fairly certain i threw up afterwards.

- Have you ever been in love?

i'm in love with 19 people, but that's just off the top of my head.

- Are you a morning person or a night person?

when i've had my 8 hours, i'm an all day person. that being said; i despise heat.

- Have you ever been to the hospital (other then birth)?

my parents have both been in and out of hospitals since i was born... that's what happens when you're parents are 68 when you're 19

- How many screen names do you have?

at least 23, i only remember the passwords to like 7.

- Do any medical problems run in your family?

i've never met anyone that i'm related to that i know of.

- Have anyone ever been disowned from your family?

quite literally; i was left on a doorstep.

- Do you say meaner things to your friends or your enemies?

who the fuck would do that?

- Would you ever pay for a prostititue?

balloon-and-cigarette-stomp-porn-comedy-variety-troupe.

- Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants?

i've never peed my pants.

- Have you ever attempted suicide?

when i was like 9 i went through this really rough time where the only three people in school who would talk to me (and only to tell me how fat or gay or pathetic i was) decided we were no longer "friends". and for a long while i'd stand in the kitchen with the biggest knife we had pressed against my throat, praying for the strength to push in.

- Do you prefer boxers or briefs?

boxer briefs. fun fact, i don't pay for underwear. i believe it's ridiculous that people should have to pay for something that everyone is expected to wear but no one can fucking see.

- Have you ever been in a fistfight?

twice. three times. maybe a couple more i'm not remembering at the moment.

- Do you have any hidden talents?

i can put my leg on top of my head with jeans on, without them i can put it behind.

- Who is your favourite person to talk to?

monica morales, but for true bliss there MUST be fried cheese, veggie burgers and tacos must be involved.

- Would you ever have sex before marriage?

a few months ago my entire life had to be sex before marriage.

- How do you vent your anger?

music.

- Have you ever been on a diet?

eat when you're hungry stop when you're not.

- Would you ever date someone younger than you? Older than you?

i like my boys older. and taller.

- What's the craziest rumor someone has spread about you?

that i was straight.

- Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness?

i'm clinically depressed.

- Have you ever wanted to murder someone?

twice.

- Have you ever hated someone?

twice.

- Do you prefer talking on the phone or online?

video chat online.

- Would you ever tell the person you have a crush on that you like them?

i have. twice.

- What is your favourite book?

the perk of being a wallflower. but you knew that already.

- Do you have a collection of anything?

music. that or clothing. both are out of control and i love it.

- Are you happy with the person you are becoming?

i'm happy with the person i've become.

- Are you a different person now then you were 5 years ago?

5 years ago i was in middle school.

- What do you see yourself as being in 5 years from now?

close to a teachers credential working in fashion.

- Are you happy with the life you have?

the day you stop living life on your terms, is the day you cease to live.

real post coming soon i SWEAR.

*obscure pop culture reference!